Cow Shampoo

Overheard in the bathroom tonight:

Dad: You did not wash your hair.
Wyatt: I did too!
Dad: What did you wash it with, doo-doo?
Wyatt: No! (Followed by peals of laughter)
Dad: Did a cow just walk through here and say, "I'm selling shampoo from by butt, want some?" Wyatt: Peals of Laughter.

"She should run."

This is Wyatt watching "Mega-Python VS Gatoroid" starring Tiffany and Debbie Gibson on the Scy-Fy channel tonight. Yes, we are awesome parents. Other quotes inspired by the movie:

"That looked like a body slam!"

"She might die, actually."

"Like, how can aligators get that big?"

"You got your tail bound!"

"One of the aligators went flying!"

"Oh, that is bits of aligator, no python."

Up next, "Lake Placid 2" starring Bo Duke.

Soph's Quote O' The Day

Sophie's quote o' the day: "I rotten. I go nuts!" I wonder where she has heard that before? I finally got her on video saying it:

High Daddy!

I sent this pic of Soph to Trey with the caption "Hi Daddy." He responded back with "High Princess!"

How Much

Please send in your "How Much sightings. If you have a "How Much" to share please send me the pic, the location, and your bottom dollar. Like Demi Moore in "Indecent Proposal," everybody has a price.

Valentines Pictures

For those who care, here is the link to Soph and Wyatt's Valentine's pic. Sara at SDS Photography took them--they are great. They are also running on the sidebar.

http://sdsphotography.smugmug.com/Mini-Sessions/Valentines-2010/Hodges11/15603182_ZvdCN

How Much?

For those of you who have ever traveled with me, you know I like to play the game How Much? In this case, how much would it take to smooth this on your lips? I just found this in the parking lot at Kroger. How much, Missy--50 bucks?
Alison has reported it would take 100 bucks. Melanie would go for 50 bucks, no, now 100 bucks. Aimee is going for a cool million--she is playing hard to get! For those that need clarification: the plastic must touch lips.

Goodwill Glasses

So, my Dad asks me if I want to see his new glasses that he got from Goodwill. He explained to me very excitedly that he can now see all the lettering on the TV. Sure, I want to see the glasses.

It turns out I don't want to see the glasses. Now, I love me some Goodwill, but these are just wrong. I suggested that he looks like a certain criminal who preys on children (which he is not, btw). While I was taking the picture, my mom asked if I leave their house and go home and make fun of them. Noooooooo...

Trey's Trickery

You may be surprised to discover that I am quite gullible. My husband enjoys taking advantage of this. I usually believe his tricks/stories. Here are two of the ways he has done this lately:

1. Josie was barking and he explained that she was barking at rats that made nests in our trees. You see, the rats climb onto the limbs that are touching the tops of the fence, and then make nests in the trees. Who knew that rats don't make nests in trees!

2. Trey very seriously called me over to to look at the front door(back story--we had just had scary movie night the night before). Taped to the front door was a piece of paper. Scrawled on said piece of paper: You are going to die. I have heard some wives actually get flowers and jewelry from their husbands...


Don't let looks deceive you...these two are
trouble!

Wyatt's Witicisms

1. The other day, Wyatt and I were discussing my age when I explained to him that I was 27 and that daddy was 29. Wyatt said, "I knew Daddy was older than you because he is fatter." Is that how it works?

2. Mom: "Wyatt, Aunt Bonney said that Carson sleeps with his frog every night" (Wyatt picked out a stuffed frog for his baby cousin for Christmas).

Wyatt: "Carson has a frog?"

Mom: "The stuffed one you gave him for Christmas!"

Wyatt: "I knew it was the perfect gift."

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3. Dad: "If you don't hurry up and bathe and get out of the tub, you are getting a spanking."

Wyatt: "You wouldn't hit a man with no teeth, would you?"

That Bloody Speak & Spell!

For those of you not in need of botox, you have never seen nor heard of one of these before-a Speak & Spell. Children in the '80s loved them, well, nerdy children like myself. It was my version of the DS. If you love to spell, raise your hands in the air like you just don't care !!!! Since I love all things '80s, I had to find one on Ebay so that Wyatt could become an excellent speller like myself (in the spirit of full disclosure, I should mention that I can spell, but I cannot pronouce anything because of my obsession with learning words in order to spell them). Did I also mention that I was the official class speller in Mrs. Stodghill's 9th grade honors English class--few have held the title. Wyatt busted out with the S&S the other day and he asked for help in spelling the word honor. He couldn't remember the "H." I spelled it for him, but the not so familiar, "You are incorrect." rang out. I was confused until it dawned on me that this particular Speak & Spell was sent from the UK. Across the pond, honor is, of course, spelled honour. Wyatt should do swimmingly in his study abroad stint at St. Andrews, but not so well on his second grade spelling test.

First Post

This is me at birth. My views on the world have not changed much.
Just so no one is confused: this blog has nothing to do with John Mayer--no one here has a body that resembles Wonderland. This blog is named after Alice in Wonderland because after I read it, I realized that most of the time I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. If you haven't read it, you might be confused--that is good. You should also know I have a really non -politcally correct sense of humor. I do somehow manage to maintain my friendships and my family. So there. :)


Why do all those women keep dating him, anyway?